Noun: A state of existence in the confines of an enclosure relatively proportionate to the body mass of the confined for the alleged purpose of physical rehabilitation but more commonly known as a form of mental torment secondary to stagnation induced brain clouds.
Being stuck inside feels like this:
Today is post-op day 5. Feels like post-op day eleventy one. But, at least now I can start the getting better and put the great crash of 2012 behind me (maybe?).
|Getting a nerve block, great for postop pain|
|The 1st dressing change. GRROOSSSSS!|
Hopefully my stall rest will be upgraded to “hand-walking” soon, and maybe even “limited turnout” in a couple of weeks. I’ve put in a request for supervised visitation with the horses but so far the judge won’t even give me the time of day, sheesh. Something about court backlogs and weather contingencies and blah blah blah.
I thought about sneaking out with a bag of carrots tied to my crutches, but someone must’ve snitched and now I’ve got guards outside my door with 2 way radios. They’re dressed like giant ninja warrior Easter Bunnies, except they have an elephant nose and are riding tricycles. One of them is juggling giant candy cane shaped jello molds, probably to distract me. I don’t remember where this was going . . .
I have learned a couple of important lessons. #1 – ALWAYS take a stool softener with pain pills (really wish I’d remembered that about 5 days ago) #2 – 7 hours straight is the most you can watch Netflix on an ipad before you get retinal disfigurement from the screen (cured with pain pills and stool softeners) #3 – white wine is best paired with Vicodin, beer is okay and margaritas are a Class 2b violation.
If only I could learn to relax like this:
Merry Christmas everyone. Hug your children. Pet your horses. Beware a juggling ninja bunny warrior bearing a jello mold . . .